Thursday, August 5, 2010

Don't bug me I am meditating...

SO... my daughter in law got me into yoga- awesome. I have only been about 5 times but definitely plan on getting hooked! The books I have been reading lately have been about women finding themselves spiritually and physically. Turns out that has been my goal this year too. Also awesome! These ladies in these books talk about meditating, finding your quiet self, being utterly still... OK. I SO want to be quiet and still... finding my quiet self that would be awesome too! So my understanding of meditation is you find a quiet place to BE (for at least 20 minutes), then you try to clear your mind of all the garbage. To do this you must chant a mantra... I don't know any mantras, I don't I feel comfortable "borrowing" one from some yogi guru that I don't even know or believe in. So, I thought I will just make something up when I get to that point.

This is how my meditation went today-
I find my quiet spot on my bedroom floor, I sit down and cross my legs yoga style and start to breath... ONE.. I am counting the breaths I take in and out... TWO... my hips are freaking killing me...THREE... 20 minutes huh? I wonder how long it has been...FOUR... I wonder if it counts if you lay down instead of sitting like this...FIVE... man, my feet are totally black (from my flip flops)...SIX...then my mantra kicks in... I AM HERE... I AM HERE... I AM HERE... you know what "I" am not that bad of gal! It was kinda cool spendin' some time with ME! Then the phone rang... BUGGER!

CONCLUSION-I think I was just starting to get the hang of the whole exercise when I was called away-for me meditation is a way of preparing my mind to take things of the spirit in. I think of meditation as a prelude to personal prayer and scripture study. I think as women we don't take the time to be still, I believe it is important to feel our Heavenly Fathers love pour over us and then maybe we can better love ourselves and in turn better love those around us.

I am still trying to find my best self and learning to live in the moment. Not worrying about what the future might bring and definitely not dwelling in the past. Not worrying about what other people think I should be doing or how I think I should look by other peoples standards. I am who I am. I like what I like. I have spent too many years forgetting to live, life is starting to creep its way back into me and it feels good, sometimes scary and overwhelming, but amazingly good!

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